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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29743782">A Snow Break</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinWritesChirps/pseuds/RobinWritesChirps'>RobinWritesChirps</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hatchetfield Universe - Team StarKid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Casual Sex, Complicated Relationships, Domestic, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Mentions of Hot Chocolate Boy, Pre-Canon, Snow Day, Ted is the baby daddy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:41:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,189</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29743782</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinWritesChirps/pseuds/RobinWritesChirps</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Pamela Foster showed up at his doorstep hardly a wank of time after Ted had crashed home for the weekend. Her two girls were standing awkwardly in his entrance hall and the older one was comforting the younger one with soft words he did not care to decipher. Pamela faced him as she ever did, bold and unbothered by other people's wants and needs. Her goblins in tow, she let herself inside whether Ted invited her in or not. Of all the people Ted kept allowing in his life, she was the closest one to a kindred spirit of a twisted sort. She reminded him of all his flaws that, were he a better man, he would work on.</p><p>There's a snow storm coming on and Ted's apartment gets crashed by a visitor from his past - and present and, the way things go, future. Trash finds a way. First PamTed fic. The rating is tagged M but closer to T, I'm just being safe.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ted Spankoffski/Pamela Foster</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Snow Break</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic presupposes that Ted is the baby daddy for Hannah Foster. I'll happily be proven right or wrong about this in future stories but that is how I see it for now. Here are my reasons why before you read this, although it's not the main focus of the story: https://musicalsandfluff.tumblr.com/post/643486544218456064/reasons-i-wouldnt-be-suprised-if-ted-is-hannahs </p><p>Also, as has been implied by Joey a while ago, Hot Choccy Boy is Ted's brother.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pamela Foster showed up at his doorstep hardly a wank of time after Ted had crashed home for the weekend. Two goblins in tow, she let herself inside whether Ted invited her in or not and he stared bewildered at the muddy almost-crowd now barging into an apartment cut in half between the pristine parts he never used and the messy, borderline unsanitary parts that he did. Not that it ever became relevant in day to day life, Ted had a no kids rule only occasionally broken by his much younger brother, the little one who had failed to save his parents' marriage. Certainly Pamela's crotch droplets had never been on the guest list. He racked his brain for their names and came up short although he had seen them many times before. But then again, the mother had always been the aim of his visits at Hatchetfield's trailer park.</p><p>"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" He hissed, pulling her aside.</p><p>The two girls — though they dressed just as boyish as he had as a kid, only much more dirty and patchy — were standing awkwardly in his entrance hall and the older one was comforting the younger one with soft words he did not care to decipher. Pamela faced him as she ever did, bold and unbothered by other people's wants and needs. Of all the people Ted kept allowing in his life, she was the closest one to a kindred spirit of a twisted sort. She reminded him of all his flaws that, were he a better man, he would work on.</p><p>"Oh, shut it," she said and pushed past him. Her coat was a little thin for winter weather and her face was pale, but then what else was new? Pamela seldom had a buck in her pocket and she wasn't known for spending wisely whatever money that came her way. Trailer trash remained as it was even out and about. "There's a storm comin' over the weekend, ain't you seen the news?"</p><p>As a rule, Ted never checked the news, which he deemed irrelevant to his personal existence here in recluse Hatchetfield. A few clouds weren't about to change his life. At work, though, he had overheard Bill and Sylvia talk about cocooning for the weekend at her place, as they expected to be snowed in for a few days. He had been looking forward to a weekend of sitting on his ass twiddling his thumbs, maybe game a little or catch up on shows, but with three brats to suffer around, all plans seemed suddenly impracticable and he frowned.</p><p>"I didn't realize I was a shelter for charity," he retorted. "You have your own home, lady. Not my fault it's not as..."</p><p>"Momma, Hannah has to pee," one of the girls said, interrupting what might have been a brewing all out argument.</p><p>Ted lifted his hands to the sky and blew raspberries, helpless.</p><p>"I don't know how to change a diaper," he said plainly, who had already refused to do it for his baby brother years ago, "So don't ask me."</p><p>The girl glared at him on behalf of her sister and ignored him in favor of her mother, who looked no more inclined to help than him. Ted found himself remembering their first few hookups at the trailer, how the girl had played in the mud outside with rocks and sticks while her momma got her own rocks off inside with a horny college kid eager to get laid. Especially back then, he had lacked much standards as to who did the laying, so long as it had tits and an ass. Still, the girl must have been a toddler back then, but even now that she was a kid, mother and dick on the side remained as negligent of the poor child and of her now sister. They weren't his to raise, though. They had never been.</p><p>"She's five, she can piss on her own, thank God. Bathroom's at the end of the hall, Nanners, go ahead."</p><p>But the little girl — Hannah, Ted now remembered — clutched her sister's hand fearfully and the two of them went down the hall together without Ted's input in any way. Pamela took a seat at his kitchen counter, which was definitely on the neat and tidy part of the apartment, for he had never learned to cook and had no interest in changing that any time soon. She dangled her legs comfortably — trying, he realized, to fight off the cold from outside.</p><p>"Forgot to pay same bills," she told him. "We haven't had no power for a few weeks, it's a'ight but with the storm and all, I just want to not freeze to death, hun. That ain't how I planned to go."</p><p>"Yeah, overdose and sex exhaustion, right?" He smirked. But he remembered how annoyed he was at her inviting herself, no matter how he could come to enjoy her company despite his best attempts at not doing so. "You must have had other options, Pam. What if I had weekend plans?!"</p><p>Of course, he knew from the sight of her and from experience that Pamela's emergency number might as well have been the CPS, how little recourse she had. Not his problem, though now that she had made it his, he didn't have the energy to force her out back to the cold rundown trailer. It seemed to him a different act to ignore those in need when he did not have to be the one holding their immediate safety and survival in his palm.</p><p>"You can still do whatever you want, Teddy-buddy. Don't need my permission, you're a grown man."</p><p>She eyed him up and down as if remembering the very manly parts of him and Ted, usually so inclined to be seen of her that way, grunted in frustration. No part of him trusted her not to ransack the place if he left it in her charge, kids or not. He did not think that Pamela took that much pride in being a role model. Past experience agreed with the assessment.</p><p>"Till the storm is over," he said seriously. "Not one day more."</p><p>She leaned back against his kitchen wall to better look at him with that same smirk as ever he knew by heart. That same smile from their first time — <em>his</em> first time when she had taken him by the hands and showed him just how many fish swam in the vast, broad ocean. She had never replaced Jenny, not even a little. Nobody ever would, but when Pam had opened her legs to him, Ted had caught a glimpse of a brand new world and he had spent every moment since trying to find it again. Those legs were as good as Jenny's leaving in the shaping of the horny bastard he had become.</p><p>"I know when I'm not welcome," Pamela promised. She pried open a kitchen shelf next to her in sheer curiosity only to be disappointed to find it empty. Ted glared at her.</p><p>"Do you? Since when?"</p><p>But the kids were coming back from the bathroom and Hannah stood in a corner as if stuck into place with fear. He had never remembered kids being so quiet. His little bro certainly was nothing like, who was sensitive and fussy to a fault. One never quite forgot him.</p><p>"Are you like a millionaire?" The other girl asked.</p><p>Ted burst out laughing, which seemed to annoy her — everything seemed to annoy her. Like mama, like daughter, as he knew Pamela wasn't without her anger issues. He had been the recipient often enough, if always perfectly earned.</p><p>"Yeah, Mr Business, make the money rain!" The mother presently cackled. "You found his stash, Lexa?"</p><p>"I'm not a millionaire," he replied moodily, sensing as always that bragging about his situation to her could only lead to inspiring Pamela to redistribute their wealth a bit more equally. "And I don't need your snooping, dude."</p><p>Lex hoisted herself up the counter to sit next to Pam, her much shorter legs swinging in a rhythm. She had something fierce about her no matter how small, how young and dumb. Like a fire burned inside her from all the shitty, shitty stumbling blocks in the way of the Fosters' lives. Once, Pamela had told him the girls each took after their daddy, though Ted had been too much of a coward to ask for details there. Still, Lex was as tough as nails and that couldn't all be Pamela, who was as loose as they came. Hannah's timidity, Ted tried not to think about as she stood there twisting her hands just like he had that first day of orientation Jenny had smiled at him and his heart had been taken from him, forever hers, forever gone now. In as much as he could, Ted thoroughly did not think of Hannah.</p><p>"Well, your bathroom is cool as shit," Lex replied in a tone so biting the words might as well have been an insult. "You seem very rich to me. It's not snooping, it's just noticing."</p><p>"Nanners," Pam called out to the poor girl, "How's it feel to be in a rich man's house, huh? You'd like to be here often?"</p><p>"I'm not rich," Ted said, now exasperated. "You're just..."</p><p>But he stopped himself just before uttering it. He had met Pamela back a few years ago when he had been a college kid looking for quick weed at a decent price. She had been freshly arrived in Hatchetfield to follow Lex's daddy who had disappeared the moment Pam had showed her face here, and without the support of a father, she had sunk deeper into poverty than she had already been. Since that time, Ted had found a decent job where he made good money for his simple needs. Fun money for weed and sex, though he could still get both from her for cheap. He supposed that a comfortable middle class home might as well have been a palace for her daughters.</p><p>"Cat got her tongue again," Pamela sighed as Hannah failed to reply. "Lord knows what I've done to make a dumb kid who can't speak three words together. I swear..."</p><p>"She's not dumb," Lex snapped right back at her. "She's quiet, that's not the same, don't talk about her like that."</p><p>Pamela nudged her as if playfully, though there was nothing lighthearted about the glare Lex threw her.</p><p>"Or what?"</p><p>Hannah glanced between her sister and her mother and with a soft whimper of unease, hopped to the closest armchair to sink into it and hum to herself. Lex immediately hopped off the counter to join her.</p><p>"Hey, don't you go bein' nosy and rude here, alright?" Pamela called out to them, but the girls did not grant her a reply. It seemed to Ted that, were it not for the many adult concerns of providing a home and basic needs, Lex and Hannah would have been all the happier without Pam. Even more so, she without them, too.</p><p>In the end, unsurprisingly, Pamela turned out the nosier, ruder guest of the bunch. The kids seemed to him acutely aware of not being at home and kept to each other, chatting contentedly without needing any entertaining. This was just as well, as neither of the adults would have been particularly good at providing it. The mother, though, kept shamelessly exploring the apartment and making comments on everything that caught her eye — and living a dirt poor trailer life, there wasn't much here that didn't. She had no restraint. Her compliments were said in jeer and felt like personal insults, but her taunting was so affectionate it might as well have been flirting and banter.</p><p>"I'mma take a bath," she announced after some time. She winked. "The door is open if you wanna join the fun, stud."</p><p>Lex groaned from the couch where Hannah had been playing with her hair, braiding and unbraiding it. Pamela ignored her. She seemed often to ignore her.</p><p>"I'll order dinner," Ted said, who felt a touch of pride at being the only one remembering that children, after all, had to be fed. "Pizza, right?"</p><p>Pamela slammed the bathroom door in his face for a reply, which he supposed must have been approval. Her frustrations were not for him to assuage, not with two brats alone in his living room. He had better not leave them unattended too much.</p><p>"I like pizza," Hannah said in a tiny squeak of a voice. "I think."</p><p>Ted who prided himself on mingling with all crowds was feeling unusually awkward in just the girls' presence. Count on Pamela for extorting a long bath out of this stay she was forcing on him in the first place. Once he hung up on the pizza place, he found himself staring at the two girls without a clue what to say. He thought of what his brother liked to do when he was here and grinned.</p><p>"Hey, let me show you this cool ass TV screen I got with my December bonus," he said and picked the remote to press the on button.</p><p>Half his wall lit up brightly to the PlayStation menu and he browsed his library of discs thinking of what sort of games these girls could possibly like. He settled on some cutesy platformer he had bought for his brother but when he turned around, he realized the girls couldn't give a shit about any game at the moment. Lex was holding Hannah close to her, as the young girl seemed to be having a meltdown of some sort and sniffling increasingly louder. The door to the bathroom opened and Pamela came out wearing nothing but one of his best towels he had ordered special from Europe. He stared helplessly as Hannah started to cry.</p><p>"What's wrong with her?" He asked Pamela. He disliked the feeling that he would have been the one to cause the tantrum when he didn't even know how. It was one thing to get on people's nerve, but the fun was to do so purposely.</p><p>Pamela shrugged and plopped casually on his couch, patting Hannah's back mindlessly. Lex's face snapped to him. If looks could kill...</p><p>"What's wrong with <em>you</em>, bozo?! Turn it off, it's too bright!"</p><p>Ted turned off the television screen and it wasn't long before Hannah regained control of herself in Lex's embrace. Still, she remained gloomy the rest of the night and even when pizza arrived, she only chewed on a single slice without a word or a look at anyone. Just after, she wrapped herself up in a plaid he kept neatly folded at the back of the couch and closed her eyes.</p><p>"I'll look after her," Lex said at once in a hushed whisper, so as not to wake her sister. "She doesn't like to sleep alone, I'll be here with her."</p><p>Ted passed her an extra blanket she bundled under. He was about to ask her to be particularly careful with them, but Lex was looking intently at her mother, trying to catch her eyes, and Ted nudged Pam.</p><p>"Where are <em>you</em> sleeping, mom?"</p><p>Pamela tugged around her the robe she had changed into at some point of the evening. She combed fingers through Lex's hair and Ted noted that it wouldn't harm to offer the girls a bath or two as well before they went home.</p><p>"Oh, Lexa, hun, I dunno if I'm sleeping tonight." She leaned to kiss the girl's cheek. "Now be quiet and watch the snow fall or something."</p><p>She closed the bedroom door behind her and Ted and swirled around with a lascivious look all over him. Ted sat on the bed and her lips turned to a teasing smirk.</p><p>"Now, am I gonna be a good guest," she said, walking slowly to him to play with his hair softly, "And thank you for your mighty hospitality?"</p><p>He snorted. As if his own good will had played any part.</p><p>"History says no."</p><p>He remembered times she had come over his dorm room, even this apartment, and left with a kiss and a stack of his cash stolen from him when his eyes had been elsewhere. Pamela had many assets, but guest manners were not it. She sucked a dick like nobody else, though. That always helped.</p><p>"Well," she said and in one swift go, the bathrobe fell to the ground, with not a single thing underneath. Ted grinned and his hands went to her hips. "I was always a dunce at history, cub."</p><p>She straddled his lap and kissed him, and Ted kissed her back and could have forgotten the brats on his couch for the warmth of her, that embrace he never got bored of. They said you never forgot your first. Pamela Foster had a knack for never letting herself be forgotten.</p><p>They fucked. They smoked, they chatted till they were ready to fuck again. This was the way of things with Pam, a friends with benefits of several years. They were friends, for sure, and he enjoyed her company, but the benefits were always, always a bundle deal. It wasn't so much that he didn't value the time they spent together, but rather that he wanted to make the best of it. For six years and counting, so had she.</p><p>After they could not give it another go for pure exhaustion, he let her cuddle him as snow fell thickly outside his windows with no end on sight. It would have been so cold in the trailer, he thought. She had been clever to find a way out just for the weekend. The snow would thaw in a few days time to show her the way home. Then, he could wash his hands of her but in the meantime, there was no reason he couldn't enjoy the perks of being a host.</p><p>"We coulda had it, cub."</p><p>Her voice was a tired little thing but unmistakably loud enough for him to have heard. He closed his eyes, probably too late. His feelings for Pamela were too complicated even for a genius like him to decipher and he disliked so much as attempting to. Still, even now, she kept him on his toes. She always had.</p><p>"You, me, the girls. You had to bail on me with the baby but we coulda been it."</p><p>There was a reason, wasn't there, why Pam and Ted found each other time and time again over the years, why they clung and parted from one another in an endless game of tag. Not because he loved her, that much was clear. He had loved no one since Jenny and if he had, then Charlotte was as close as love as he was capable of these days. But damn if he didn't <em>like</em> Pamela so much without even putting the effort. She annoyed and pestered him every moment they were together, of course, and she was insufferably trashy, not any decent company he could introduce to his parents or friends, not a lady he could so much as take on a date. Yet every time she knocked at his door, he opened and paid a visit back, too. Even with the kid he desperately did not look too long at.</p><p>She was wrong there. They could not have a life together with the girls, simply because Ted had nothing to give of the sort. The most feeling he ever felt towards a child was the smug pride of somewhat annoying, somewhat bullying his little brother, and even then he grew bored of that within hours and sent him home to their parents again. He had no more desire to play family with Lex and Hannah than she did, though she was stuck with them and, he was sure, some part of her must feel a fondness for her daughters after all. If it had been just Pamela, then that would have been something, but even so the thought of opening up to her the parts of him that were missing, that he lacked ever since that day of 2004...</p><p>"I dunno why I keep hopin' you'll change your mind on us."</p><p>Ted turned his back to her and pretended to sleep. Then he tugged the covers warmly to his chin and it wasn't long before he didn't have to pretend.</p><p>He woke with her legs between his in the morning, soft and cuddly and ready for another round to forget the conversation not had. They fucked again perhaps even better than the night before. Outside, the snow was still falling heavily but he felt too hot in here with Pamela under him, her lips at his ear to moan and sigh. He held her close and fucked her like they were never to see each other again, like this pathetic little tryst was the last of it for good. It wouldn't be, but fuck him if he didn't cling to her like it was. If she could live out her little weekend fantasy of a middle class life she would never have, then there was no reason Ted could not have his unspoken fantasies too. It wasn't often women spent the night here.</p><p>"You're good to me, Teddy," she muttered. Her hands were holding flat on his back, her nails digging in. "When you're not a dickhead."</p><p>"And you're a nice enough gal," he replied and nibbled the lobe of her ear just sharp enough to make her slap his back to chide him, "When you're not a shitface."</p><p>She snorted. Her legs tightened around his waist.</p><p>"Oh, fuck you."</p><p>"Fuck me yourself, lady."</p><p>They smiled at each other and he buried his face into her neck again. She smelled so nice. His cologne stolen last night, but it was a whole new scent when he smelled it against her warm bare skin.</p><p>"Mmh, working on that right now, hun."</p><p>She stole one of his shirts from his closet to have something to put on once it was time to leave the room — he wouldn't have minded for her to stay in there a bit longer. The girls were not on the couch where he had seen them last, but he heard some low chatter coming from the kitchen and found them mid breakfast. Lex looked like a deer caught in headlights and clenched her fists, oddly defensive.</p><p>"Hannah was hungry!" She said, more as a reproach to her mother than a justification to Ted.</p><p>Pamela dropped on a stool next to her and kissed her cheek in a reluctant good morning.</p><p>"Looks to me like she's eatin'," Pamela retorted, unbothered. "So what's the problem? Teddy boy, you gonna be a good host and make us some coffee?"</p><p>Ted brewed some coffee. The kids had only helped themselves to some cereals he hardly ever ate himself, a lifelong habit of neglecting breakfast way more often than not. Hannah seemed to be playing some game of only eating one flake at a time. She was humming happily to herself but smiled at him when she happened to cross his gaze.</p><p>"Coffee, buddy?" He asked her.</p><p>Lex covered the mug he had placed in front of Hannah's bowl.</p><p>"She's <em>five</em>, she can't have coffee."</p><p>He rolled his eyes. He was starting to dislike the attitude of her, but he told himself she would be out of here before long — out of sight, out of mind. A well rehearsed life motto.</p><p>"Cocoa?" He offered instead. "My brother is a kid too and he loves the stuff. We drink it together."</p><p>"I like that," Hannah replied. "With cold milk."</p><p>Ted let out a chuckle as he pulled out the tin box of powdered cocoa and a bottle of milk.</p><p>"Funny that, huh? That's how I like it too."</p><p>He poured them two identical mugs of the stuff and some for Lex for good measure. It was an awkward breakfast for sure, with a tacit anger simmering in Lex towards her mother that Hannah seemed neither to notice nor to try to mend. Pamela herself refused to even acknowledge it and, prideful as she was, sipped her coffee with her nose up in the air, ignoring all other company at the table. Hannah and Ted glanced at each other. She gave him a tentative smile and sipped some more cold cocoa. It left a mustache at her upper lip. Lex snorted.</p><p>"You guys are like twins or something?"</p><p>Pamela and Ted resolutely ignored the remark.</p><p>When they left two days later, Ted sat a moment in the empty apartment, enjoying the quiet finally on his own again. Not any brat to play on his carpet or ask questions about his games and movies or to make silly requests. Nobody but him to occupy the space that was rightfully his and no one else's. Finally the sweet taste of solitude he had longed for while the Fosters were here.</p><p>He sighed and gave his mom a call to invite his brother over for a sleepover. There were some bridges not worth burning.</p>
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